Baron the mussie

Baron was the sole survivor of the New Zealand Shooting because he dodged the bullets and screamed "Allah Akbar" and the forces of Allah came down from the heavens and hit the shooters with their fiery bows and arrows.

Baron was born on the plane that Seth Macfarlane missed by a hair and got super pissed about. He was born when one of the terrorist, who was male, produced him A-Sexually from his ear, and gave him an AK and told him to tell them to stay still or die. Baron grew at a rate of 7 inches a second and by the time the plane reached the first Tower he was already 6 foot 7 and was full of hair in a matter of 11 seconds. When the plane was about to crash in the building he used his hair as a parachute to safely jump off the plane, despite his commanders orders. He only stopped growing when he heard Allah in his ear and he said "Stop growing you sand nigger". After that faithful encounter with a god, he stopped growing after being 7 foot 9.

Baron was killed in a job gone wrong when he accidentally blew himself up in a suicide bombing.